My Minnesota engineer had his own contract engineering business.  He was very busy with the biggest project he had ever taken on when we first started chatting.  He had communicated with a few other women on the internet in the past but none of those communications ever amounted too much.  He had been married twice before and had gotten badly burned.  He ended up having to raise, virtually alone, his first two children by himself, having all but been deserted by their mother.  The second marriage was even shorter and worse.  When we first met he had been single for more than twenty years and his three children were already grown.  He had pretty much given up on the idea of ever finding someone that he felt he could trust.  Then one day, a few months before our first contact, the Lord spoke to him and told him that He had someone for him.  This was not a unique or unusual experience for my future husband, he had experienced this many times before. 

His uncle had married an Asian woman many years before and had a wonderful marriage with two beautiful children.  He decided to check out the dating sites online that catered to women from the far east.  He was amazed to find out the large number of women listed from the Philippines who were looking for a strong Christian man from the US regardless of age.  His biggest problem was trying to pare down the number to a manageable amount and choose the one he wanted to communicate with.  He had neither the desire nor time to communicate with many, he was only looking for just that special one. 

The dating website that he had joined had search parameters which included age, religion, education and profession.  After having been on the website for a couple of months,  it occurred to him that it would be a great thing if he could find a potential spouse who was also an engineer and could help him in his business.  When he started searching for women with engineering backgrounds and education, his list of potential contacts was narrowed greatly.  He sent out a couple of emails to a few of the women engineers but nothing promising really came back. 

It was then that he specified that the website began sending him profiles of any new engineers that signed up.  It was only a few days later that he received my profile and decided to respond.  Though I was younger and shorter (I’m 4′10 and he’s 6′4) than what he had listed as search parameters prior, when deciding to search for engineers he also broadened his parameters that would have previously filtered me out.  Somehow, almost miraculously, through the tightest of time frames and broadest of choices we had somehow found each other.

A few months after being laid off from the job at the local municipality I decided to go to the nearby city to try to find a job.  My aunt from Guam owned a small apartment building there and I was able to stay there with my younger brother who was going to school at the time.   I looked for a job and submitted my resume to companies that I knew were hiring.  At the time, I was reviewing my engineering education because I was planning on taking the engineering license exam.  I also went online looking for jobs abroad.  I was really desperate to get a job so I could help my parents pay my siblings tuition fees in college. 

One time I got a phone interview from a call center somewhere in Manila, but it didn’t work out.  My mother already told me that she didn’t want me to go back to Manila.  She preferred that I look for a job closer to home.   That was what I was trying to do but having little success.

At the time I was thinking about trying the online dating thing again but still very cautious after my first bad experience.   I viewed several men’s profiles but didn’t send any messages or chat with anyone.  One of the profiles on that dating site that I came across was an engineer from the state of Minnesota in the US.   I liked this guy’s profile but I thought he would think that I was too young for him.   After my bad experience with the Australian I had decided to take my father’s advice and pray very specifically about the man I wanted to marry.   I had prayed that I wanted to meet a tall engineer from the US who was older and much less likely to stray after other younger women like the Australian guy.  Most important though, was that he must be a strongly committed Christian. This engineer from Minnesota fit my profile perfectly but I was too shy to contact him and never really thought that he would contact me.  The next day, I checked my emails and got a message from that very same guy.  I couldn’t believe it!

After replying to his email, I immediately got kicked off from the dating site because I gave him my personal contact information which was against their rules.  Fortunately I already had his direct email address and he had mine.  He sent me some money the very first week.  I was surprised and I didn’t know why and what for.  He said that it was for my internet expenses.   On the first Sunday, only seven days after our first communications,  I went to church.  Well, actually when I was still in the Philippines every Sunday I went to church.   Before the service, I began to pray and became convinced that he was the one for me.  I was sure that he was the one that I wanted to marry.  I didn’t know why but I felt at ease with him and trusted him almost immediately.

I was beginning to doubt that the time and expense of five years of hard work and sacrifice to get my engineering degree would ever payoff.  When I was really down and feeling hopeless about finding a job, my father always encouraged me and told me not to give up on my dreams.  Many times we had heart to heart talks especially when my father and I went to his congregation in the mountains for church.  That was a really good time for us to talk.  Since we didn’t have the money to pay for transportation we had a really long road to walk.  To pass the time, we would talk about many things.  I can still remember when my father told me if I was specific when praying, God would give what I asked.  Right after he said that, something clicked.  I kept thinking about it and then I knew, yes, Papa was right.

After my graduation, I had decided to go to Manila to try to find a job.  I set aside my dream to take the engineering licensure exam because, again,  I didn’t have the money to pursue it.  I was planning to work first and save up money for the review.  It was very difficult for me to ask financial assistance from my parents because my siblings were starting college at the time.  To make a long story short,  I found two temporary jobs in Manila but I couldn’t even support myself on the wages that I was making.  In fact the second job I worked there I got cheated badly.  After working for a month, I only received 1/10th of the wages that I was promised and after deducting trasportation costs I came out with almost nothing.   When my father heard about my two jobs and their wages, he wanted me to come home to the village and look for a job there.  I gladly went home and was fortunate to get a contract job in the engineering office in our local municipality.   It didn’t pay much, about 40 cents an hour,  but at least I was able to net more than in Manila for a while.  Then, after about four months,  all contractual workers got laid off because the municipality ran out of money.

Since I was a kid, I have always been enamored with the idea of marrying a foreign guy and traveling to strange and far distant lands.  I never really thought it was going to happen but we all have dreams.  During my last year in college I began working with computers and the internet.  I soon discovered the online dating websites where young women like me could get in contact with men from all over the world.  It was free for women like us to sign up to be profiled on many of these websites so I and some of my friends decided to give it a try. 

I started communicating with a guy from Australia for a few months and we continued  emailing each other until I moved to Manila.   That was when we met each other in person for the first time.  I really like him a lot and hoped that the relationship we started would lead to something more serious.  When I had finally met him, I really thought that my dreams were about to come true.  He took me back to Mindanao and told my parents that he wanted to marry me.  I couldn’t have been happier.  I was very excited about starting a new life in a foreign country and getting an opportunity to use the education that I struggled so long and hard to achieve.  

After he went back to Australia things started to change.  The talk of marriage seemed to disappear and I began to suspect that he was seeing other women.   He never gave me his address or phone number and after a while the responses to my email messages began to go unanswered.  For some reason he sent me about sixty dollars and then I didn’t hear from him anymore.  Maybe his conscience had gotten to him. I was very hurt and felt betrayed and suspicious.

I had a lot of fun in my high school days.  I had a lot of friends and continued to do well in my studies.  I didn’t put too much pressure on myself, instead I just had fun.  I made lots of friends and managed to keep on the right track.  I made my parents proud of me because I graduated from high school with honors.  I passed two universities entrance tests, went to the Central Mindanao University and took up a course for a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics.  I studied there for one and a half years and then transferred to a school that was closer to home .  This time my aunt was helping to pay my tuition.  My father couldn’t afford to send me to college anymore.  As I  mentioned before, my father is just a poor rice farmer but he also has a great heart to serve the Lord.  He became a self taught preacher and teacher of the Gospel.  He has been a great inspiration and father to all of us.  He taught us (children) how to be faithful to God and be specific when praying.  I think I’m my father’s pet.  At least that’s how he makes me feel. 

Since every person has dreams, parents in particular are most happy when their kids finish their studies and fulfill their own dreams. In 2002 I completed my studies earning a Bachelor of Science degree in Civil Engineering at Urios College, now known as Father Saturnino Urios University, a Catholic school.  It was not an easy time for me.  Money was still very tight and often I went without food.  Even though I was only an hour and a half away from home by bus I still could not afford to go there often because of the bus fare.  I only made it home about every month or two so loneliness was my usual companion. 

After all the trials and tribulations that I had been through during my five years in college, I finally reaped my reward. It was one of the happiest occasions in my life. Still vivid in my memories are those times when my mother was taking pictures of me when I marched and received my diploma. We didn’t have a fancy graduation celebration. In fact, I’m not even in our yearbook because I couldn’t afford it. The money was very tight at the time and my family was financially drained after the field trip expenses, graduation fees and graduation gown rental. It would have been great if I had extra money to pay for the yearbook but unfortunately I didn’t. At least I got my priorities taken care of. After our graduation ceremony we only had two roasted chickens, rice and pop for lunch in the house where I stayed. A month later, my father threw a thanksgiving party for me at home. This time there were two pigs to be butchered. One to be roasted and one for other recipes, a courtesy of my grandma’s younger sister. There was a big feast. Neighbors in the village and churchmates all celebrated with us.

For me, life has been hard.  As a matter of fact my hubby says that my favorite saying is ” life is hard”.  I always say that when I get depressed or discouraged.  The truth is that life used to be hard but I didn’t really realize it when I was a kid.  In fact,  life has been pretty good lately for me and the future seems very bright.  My biggest problem right now is my impatience.  I know that really good things are coming but it’s hard to wait.  Patience is not my greatest virtue. 

I was born into a poor family near a small village in a rural area in the southern most island of the Philippines.  I managed to live a normal childhood through the warm support of my loving parents and family.  My father is a poor rice farmer and part time minister of the gospel.  Many times we didn’t have much to eat and when it rained the thatched roof of our small nipa hut leaked and we all got wet.   Fortunately it never gets cold there. 

At an early age, I had already learned how to be frugal.  It was a necessity of life there for almost everyone.  In 1987, I attended my first grade at the public school.  Everyday my mother gave me a half of a peso (1 penny) for snacks.  For that  I could buy a banana barbecue on a stick. Sometimes I bought paper when I forgot to asked for more from my mother.  When we were financially tight, I didn’t get any allowance at all.  On top of that,  everyday I walked with other kids about four miles round trip from our house to school.  My father and mother encouraged me to study hard and at the end of the year I always ended up in the top six of my class.   As a reward for my hardwork, I would received new clothes sewn by my mother or presents like toys.  It made my parents proud when I would get up on stage and received an honor ribbon.  Fortunately, God has blessed me with enough wit to make them happy and proud of me.  Overall, I did not disappoint them during my elementary and high school days.  I always finished my school years with flying colors. 

Because of poverty I sometimes picked guavas in our yard to exchange for papers to do my school work or sold them so I could buy snacks.  Looking back on the hardships that I experienced in my early years,  I realize that I was really lucky because of the support of my family, I didn’t really feel poor.